Young ladies and gentlemen of Europe and the world,
It is with no little pleasure that I welcome you all
to this new and endlessly exciting dEUS / Ideal Crash website. At least
I hope it will be endlessly exciting, but that`s pretty much out of
my control. As is loads of other stuff. Like the weather. And South
American politics. Talking of which, all of your learned opinions on
the General Pinochet affair are most welcome. We will be checking the
Net on a daily basis to grade your debating skills. Hey, I`m sorry to
get all schoolteacherish on your asses but we have to establish some
kind of working relationship here, and we have to get some idea of what`s
going on in the heads of those people who choose to spend their time
and money consuming our music. Why do you do it? Could we be doing it
better? Are we on the cusp of total world domination? Is it possible
to use the word "cusp" unselfconsciously? These and other
unimportant questions will almost certainly not be answered herein.
So there. And don`t go complaining to us when the DJ talks all over
the intro and outro of your favourite dEUS song. Because we won`t be
listening. Hey, if the DJs aren`t listening to the records they`re playing
why should we? I mean, we know these records inside-out by now, and
personally I`ve got better things to be doing with my time than listening
to the radio. Like gardening, for example. Now there`s a worthy pastime.
And cooking. Anyone got any killer recipes? Feel free to share them
with us. Get creative, for Christ`s sake. It worked for Skunk Anansie,
and believe me, if it can work for them, it could work for you. Although
I strongly advise you against using that as a license to start writing
third rate Meatloafesque soft metal ballads and passing them off as
radicalism. And you can all just leave Bryan Adams and Sporty Spice
out of this. I mean it, some of you people should learn a little respect.
They work hard y`know, these pop star types. And they don`t make much
Don`t let anyone fool you with any of that "pop stars don`t make
much money" bullshit. Oh yes they do. I`ve seen these people, vulgarly
throwing their cash around like there`s no tomorrow. My God it`s ugly.
Girl Power indeed. Cash Power would be more like it. Are we talking
about money now? Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn`t.
On a lighter note, those of you with a sense of humor (American spelling),
might like to take a moment to laugh at Shawn Mullins. Ha. Ha.
And once again, Ha. Feels good, doesn`t it?
Thank You for your time. Enjoy,
P.S. I`m serious about the General Pinochet stuff